Have a roommate from Hell? Want to get rid of them (please don't kill them) and get your own room? Well, prove that you can be just as difficult to live with:

1. Insist that you're a vegetarian and protest anytime they eat meat. Then leave beef jerky wrappers on the floor. If he/she asks about the wrappers, deny everything.
2. Label everything in the room with sticky notes. Explain that you need everything to be in its place
and organized. Re-arrange the furniture every Friday.
3. Everytime your roommate enters, look at your watch nervously and say "Wow. You're awfully early. You shouldn't be back yet...So when are you leaving?!"
4. Trash the room when your roommate is gone. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home. Act surprised and say "Oh no. They were back again, weren't they?"
5. One day, walk up to your roommate and kick him/her in the stomach and yell "You jerk!" and run away. A few hours later, buy him/her ice cream and say "Don't worry, I forgive you."
6. Set annoying wall-papers on your roommate's computer.
7. Research your roommate's life story. Write a full report and mail it to your roommate. Call it "How to Fail at Life."
8. Drink raw eggs every morning and explain that you're training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
9. Every Friday, pack up your stuff and say you're moving out. Come back and explain that no one was home so you're staying.
10. Wake up at 6 am every morning and yell "Help! Where am I?!!" and run around in circles. Then go back to sleep. When your roommate asks, say you have no idea what they're talking about.
11. Draw butts on everything: Your roomate's books/walls. Explain that it's your new obsession. Get a new obsession every week.
12. Buy a plant. Carry it around with you at all times. One day, have an argument with the plant. Throw out the plant but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss "that traitor" ever again.
13. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Everyday, turn the handle until the clown/joker pops out. Scream continuously for 10 minutes. Tell them you're training your vocal cords for your new death metal band.
14. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. Every time your roommate eats chicken, yell at
him/her for being a cannibal.
15. Buy a garden gnome and place it beside your bed. Get rid of it one day and accuse your roommate of stealing it.
16. Buy some knives and sharpen them every night while looking at your roommate and muttering "Soon, soon..."
17. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back, yell out "Don't
come in! I'm naked!" Make him/her wait half an hour. Then open the door to let your roommate in and take off all your clothes.
18. Place a giant picture of your roommate on the front door with the label "[insert roommate name here] lives here." Explain that you don't want your roommate to get lost or forget where they live.
19. Stick a hundred pens/pencils in a pickle. Keep it on the kitchen counter. Refuse to let your
roommate throw it out. Explain that it's "modern abstract art."
20. Fake a serious illlness for two weeks. Write out a Will leaving 2 cents for your roommate and insist they read it and understand all the fine print.
21. Live in the storage closet for 2 weeks. Then bring all your stuff back and say "Ok, your turn."
23. Keep a tarantula/snake/rat for 3 days. Then get rid of it and tell your roommate "He's got to be around here, somewhere."
24. Host a bowling tournament in your room every Friday. Give out your roommate's stuff as prizes.
When your roommate complains, say "Sorry, you can't enter. You need bowling shoes."
25. While your roommate is out, re-arrange all the furniture in his/her room. When they complain, explain you didn't enter their room and have no idea what they're talking about.
26. Buy a pet pig. If your roommate complains, hug the pig and tell him/her to respect their family.
27. Watch TV with the pig while eating lots of bacon.
28. Collect potatoes.
29. Paint faces on potatoes and name them. Name one after your roommate. One day, eat your roommate's potato and tell your roommate "I just wanted to put him out of his misery."
30. Live in a tent in your room. Tell your roommate to bring you food and water. Refuse to go outside and say "They're still out there."
31. Place a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it in fear. Every time you enter the room, open the door a crack and whisper "Hey, is it gone?!"
32. Throw darts at a picture of your roommate.
33. Call your roommate "Cart" by accident. Start doing this more often until you're calling your roommate "Cart" all the time. When your roommate gets angry, say "Sorry, Sam." Repeat this process with "Sam"
34. Accidentally break one of your roommate's pocessions. Apologize profusely and say "You're not going to kill me, are you?" Hire a bodyguard to guard you while you sleep.
35. Start sewing at night. One day, grab your thumb and yell "OWWW!!!" Cry for a few minutes and then go to bed. Make sure your roommate hears you sniffling and sobbing all night. Start sewing again the next night.
36. When your roommate comes in, pretend to be screaming profanities and cuss words into the phone. Then slam the phone down and say "Oh hi. That was your mom...she'll call you back."
37. When your roommate comes in, turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, yell loudly "She/he left! You guys can come out now!"
38. Start wearing a crown. Insist that your roommate call you "Your Highness", "Your Majesty", or "O Great One." Only respond to those names.
39. Beg your roommate to play chess with you. Let them make the first move. Sit and stare at the board for a few minutes. Stand up and yell "I forfeit!" Ask them to play chess with you again the next day.
40. Talk back to your cereal in the morning. Then suddenly, act offended. Throw the bowl of cereal across the room. Refuse to clean it up, saying "I want to watch them suffer!"
41. Change the locks on the door. Change the locks often. Refuse to let your roommate in unless they say the "secret password." Change the secret password often.
42. Place stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them and play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music and lights and go to bed.
43. Butter the floors every morning.
44. Order take-out food. Act confused when the delivery boy/girl arrives. Insist that your roommate ordered the food. Make your roommate pay.
45. Buy a hamster. Bring the hamster lots of food. Throw your roommate's stuff out the window. Say the hamster told you to do it.
46. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, say that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered the kitchen. Refuse to let your roommate into the kitchen. If your roommate accepts the duel, hide in the bathroom for hours and refuse to let your roommate enter.
47. Sign your roommate up for spam mail.
48. Start living in the bathroom. Refuse to let your roommate use it, because it's "your" room and they must respect your privacy.
49. Turn up the radio to loud classical music everyday.
50. Buy/adopt a black cat. Name it "the Chosen One." Let the cat sit on the couch and refuse to let your roommate sit. When your roommate complains, insist that "the Chosen One" not be disturbed
because it could alter the fate of mankind.
51. Let the cat sleep in your roommate's bed. When your roommate complains, say they have
offended "the Chosen One." Bring the cat back to the pet store and tell your roommate it left to "the Other world."
52. Hit your roommate on the head with rolled up magazines every 5 minutes. Say you're trying to hit the fly.
53. Label a jar "Dancing beans." Eat them and start dancing. The next day, label the jar of beans "Kill your roommate beans." Eat them.
54. Buy a lamp. Say that the lamp has a genie in it. Obnoxiously brag to your roommate about what you're going to wish for. At the end of the month, act disappointed that "the genie expired."
55. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch them. After 2 weeks, say that you can't take it anymore and insist on showing them the proper way to brush their teeth.
56. Decorate the place with pictures of you, everywhere.
57. Place a gigantic picture of William Shakespeare by the front door. Refuse to take it down, saying that it's your great great great great grandfather. Start speaking in old english for the next 3 weeks.
58. Read the phone book out loud when your roommate is sleeping.
59. Ask your roommate about their medical plan. If they ask why, just say "Accidents happen."
Snicker.
60. Put up flyers around the building advertising your roommate as a Babysitter.
61. Buy a watermelon. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. Drop the watermelon out the window the next day. Accuse your roommate of driving the watermelon to suicide. Invite him/her to the funeral.
62. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say "Don't worry. It's not what you think."
63. Leave messages on your roommate's bed in blood red ink. Write messages such as "I know what you did last summer" and "I've got my eyes on you." Insist that you don't know how the messages got there.
64. Make cue cards of dialogue. Whenever your roommate talks, get out the cue cards and read from there.
65. Stare at your roommate from across the room with binoculars. Record notes and observations. Leave the notes beside your roommate's bed labelled as "My science experiment"
66. Watch "Psycho" everyday for a month.
67. Tell your roommate you just want to be "friends" and don't appreciate their advances. Insist that you know you're "irresistible", but they've got to try.
68. Hide alarm clocks all over your roommate's room. Set them to go off at 15 second intervals. Wake them up at 5 am using this method.
69. Buy frozen meals and leave them under a lamp. When your roommate says it will spoil, tell them "I know what I'm doing." Then empty the containers so it looks like you ate it. Pretend to be ill. Do this 2 times a week.
70. As soon as your roommate turns off the light at night, turn up famous opera music on the radio. Say it helps you sleep, and would your roommate rather have you stay up all night telling them your life story? Because you're prepared.
71. Drink lots of lemon juice everyday. Talk obnoxiously about how much you love lemon juice. Send your roommate cards expressing your love for lemon juice. Then one day, "discover" tomato juice. Repeat the process with tomato juice.
72. Start conversations with your roommate that begin with "Remember the good old days when we used to..." and make up stories involving you, your roommate and "Bob."
73. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Throw peanuts at your roomate, then say "Wow. These zoos aren't what they used to be."
74. Put a bandage on your forehead. Then next day, put a bandage on your nose. Add an extra bandage everyday. Refuse to discuss how you got hurt.
75. Make pancakes every morning and draw weird faces on them. Don't eat them. Throw them in your roommate's closet. Insist that you have no idea how they got there.
76. Put out a plate of cookies in the middle of the room. Tell your roommate they're for Santa. Eat one of the cookies at night. The next day, accuse your roommate of eating one of the cookies. If your roommate says Santa ate it, tell your roommate you don't believe in Santa. Throw the room apart looking for the cookie.
77. Write "I am a moron" on your roommate's stomach while they're sleeping. Say you have no
idea how it got there.
78. Whenever your roommate has guestsover, walk through the front door and loudly announce "I got that anti-itch cream you wanted. Extra large."
79. Write a cheesy romance novel with your roommate as the main character. Have the main character die a tragic death. Mail the story to your roommate and their friends/co workers.
80. Draw pictures of your roommate. Label them "Most Obnoxious Roommate on Earth." Put the picture on your roommate's door.
81. Put a sign on your door that says "Best Roommate on Earth."
82. Wrap a jar of pickles. Leave it on your roommate's bed with a note saying "From: You know who."
83. Eat everything in the fridge, including your roommate's food. Complain to your roommate and accuse them of eating your food.
84. Label all the food in the fridge as "Dangerous" or "Do Not Eat" or "Toxic Waste." Label one item as "Drink me." Lace this with laxatives.
85. Always start conversations with "Did you know..." and insert false outrageous info.
86. Shake your roommate and yell at them to wake up in the middle of the night. Say it's an emergency. When they finally wake up,  calmly whisper "Do you have a highlighter I can borrow?"
87. Slide into your roommate's bed in the middle of the night. When they wake up, act extremely surprised and yell "How the hell did I get here?!"
88. Every time you have to sneeze, walk over to your roommate and sneeze in their face. Apologize.
89. Take pictures of your roommate during the day, make sure they don't see you. Send them the picture at night labelled as "I know what you did today."
90. Act completely normal for one day. When your roommate asks, say the doctor put you off your meds.
91. Have an intense make-out session with someone in front of the door. Purposely block the door. Ignore your roommate when they try to use the door.
92. Ask your roommate to play hide-n-seek with you. Tell your roommate to hide. Don't look for them. When they come back, say "Aw...I thought that would get rid of you, permanently."
93. Replace the salt with sugar.
94. Constantly ask your roommate their birth date. Say you suffer from short term memory loss.
95. Secretly take a photo of your roommate. Show them the photo later and convince them you saw this person on the street. Convince them it may be their long lost twin.
96. Every time your roommate coughs, excitedly say "Ooh, are you dying?"
97. Vacuum the place. Put all the dust in your roommate's room. Tell them "Looks like the dust devils are at it again."
98. Wear a Halloween mask every friday. Say it's a family tradition.
99. Hide one of your roommate's most prized possession. Write down obvious clues and lead them on a treasure hunt all over town. Place the possession in the most obvious spot later (inside the
fridge).
100. Place one of their belongings in jello. Leave it on the kitchen table with a note that says "Happy Breakfast!"
101. Give your roommate something they really want. Say "Happy Birthday!" even though it's not
their birthday. When your roommate gets excited, act embarrassed and apologize for accidentally getting the presents mixed up with Sheila's, who also has a birthday on the same day. Give them their real present (a jar of "magic" pickles)
102. Give your roommate a book called "How to Make Friends" or something similar. Tell them "When I saw this in the book store, I immediately thought of you."
103. Constantly ask your roommate "So, when are you leaving?"
104. Recommend that your roommate change the toothpaste they use. Say that in your past life, you were a dental expert.
105. When your roommate is brushing their teeth, burst into the bathroom and stop them. Act horrified and say "I used your toothbrush to clean the toilet this morning. I was going to tell you..."
106. Write down a plan to kill your roommate. Place it in a spot where your roommate can see it. When your roommate asks, say it's for your Creative Writing class.
107. Suddenly yell out "Die you fat evil pig!" from another room. When your roommate checks, say you have no idea what they're talking about. Repeat.
108. Constantly ask your roommate to join "the Dark Side." Bribe your roommate with things like "The dark side's got ice cream."
109. Whenever you walk into the room, look at your roommate and act disappointed "Oh, you're still
here?"
110. Ask your roommate what "Sticky Keys" are. Keep asking until they offer a reasonable explanation.
111. If yourroommate reads books, always rip out the last page. Make your roommate do chores
for you to get the last page back.
112. "Become" a psychic. Hold seances and read tarot cards for people. Offer to tell your roommate their future. Predict horrible gruesome deaths.
112. After completing all of the steps above, snicker at your roommate every time you see them until they get paranoid. They won't know what to expect.

Disclaimer: Almost guarantees a 98% chance your roommate will move out if all these steps are completed. Do at your own risk. We are not responsible for deaths/injuries/restraining orders/you getting sued etc.

Tired of sharing elevator rides with a smelly dude or cranky old lady? Well, prove that you can be just as annoying if not more! Make it an elevator ride they'll never forget:

1. Eat a bowl of cereal.
2. When the doors close, cross your fingers and and whisper loudly "Please, please, please let me survive this trip!" Throw your hands in the air and shout "Bless the elevator gods!"
3. Yell out "Woooo!" every time the elevator moves.
4. Press all the buttons while mumbling "Is it this floor? No, oops! Wait, it's this floor! No, that's cousin Angie. It's this floor! No...wait! I remember now! It's the third floor! Or was it the fourth
floor? Oh, it was the first floor! Wait, I forgot my papers. Back to the tenth floor. Hey, I wonder what this button does?"
5. Lean against the control panel. When people ask you to move, ask for the Password.
6. Leave a box between the doors.
7. Hum the Mission Impossible theme song.
8. Blow your nose into a tissue and ask the other passengers "Does this look infected?"
9. Shave.
10. Stare an a wound on your hand and say "I think it's getting larger!"
11. Wear a nametag that says "Kiss me. I'm Irish."
12. Cough and say "Sorry. I've been infected."
13. Wear a large trench coat stuffed with papers. Open the coat, and ask passengers "Wanna buy an elevator pass?"
14. Dress up in a devil costume like it's normal. When people ask, glare at them and say "You're next."
15. Stand still for a while and then jump up and ask "Did you feel that?!" When they ask "What?", just say "Geez, mortals these days..."
16. When you're alone with another person, start dancing randomly. Yell out "Yeah! This is my
tune!" (works best if there's elevator music). When the doors open for the next person, immediately stop dancing.
17. Stare at people through binoculars.
18. Loudly announce that you're going to the bathroom.
19. Open your purse/suitcase and pull out a potato with a face drawn on it. Show the other passengers and tell them "He kinda reminds me of you!"
20. When someone is about to enter, ask them "Are the stairs broken again?"
21. Drop your pen, then grunt and strain as you slowly bend down to pick it up.
22. As you walk into the elevator, tell the other passengers "You might want to cover your nose. I just had diarrhea"
23. Step into the elevator carrying Halloween decorations and Christmas decorations. Explain that you're decorating your office for Christmasween or Hallomas.
24. Give out instruction manuals on How to Use an Elevator. Tell them you're the new elevator
inspector.
25. When the doors open, say "Sorry, the elevator is broken. Please come again."

Well, let's find out! Answer the questions below.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refridgerator?
Correct Answer: Open the refridgerator, put the giraffe in and close the door. This tests whether you
tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into the same refrigerator?
Correct Answer: Did you say open the refridgerator, put the elephant in, close the door? Wrong!
The correct answer is to open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the door. This tests your ability to think through results of your previous actions.
3. The lion king is hosting an animal conference right now. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refridgerator because you just put him there.
4. You must cross a river during the animal conference. It is inhabited by crocodiles and you do not have a boat. How do you get across?
Correct Answer: There are many options. You can jump into the river and swim across when the animal conference begins. All the crocodiles have to attend the animal conference, remember? This tests whether you learn from your mistakes.

Score: 1 question right : Not bad.
          2 questions right: Smart.
          3 questions right: Very smart.
          4 questions right: Genius. (most 5 year olds get this score)
          None right:......... Don't worry.
Disclaimer: Test results are not accurate.

You don't have to. You just have to outrun your buddies.

Has anyone ever called you ugly? Insulting you often? Well, here's a few things you can tell that jerk:

1. "F*ck you!" (Keep it simple.)
2. "So's your life."
3. "At least I can get cosmetic surgery. But you're stuck being a dumbass forever."
4. "Really? That's not what your mom said last night." (This only works if you're a guy)
5. "If I'm ugly, then what are you?"
6. "Dude, you're so ugly you can make onions cry! Have you looked in the mirror lately? Oh wait, I remember, you broke them all!"
7. "At least I don't have to sneak up on my mirror like you."
8. "Yes I am!" (2 thumbs up)
9. "Well, it takes one to know one."
10. "Back at you b*tch!"
11. "Want to see something even uglier? There's a mirror over there."
12. "Thanks. You too!"
13. "...What's your point?"
14. "Ugly? That's it?"
15. "You know, if I shaved my dog's ass and made him walk backwards, you would see your
twin."
16. "So are you, and I don't complain."
17. "Ok. Anything else you want to add?"
18. "I don't remember asking you for your opinion." (Only works if you have a death glare to go along with it)
19. "Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. But guess what? Nobody cares."
20. "Sorry, I don't speak dumbass."
21. "Such ignorance is not worthy of a comeback." (This may get you beat up.)
22. "Thanks. I try."
23. "I'd insult you back, but I don't like taking advantage of the mentally challenged."
24.  Look at the Insults page on this website for more ideas.

Note: You don't need comebacks for such a stupid insult.
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for you getting beat up/killed. Use these comebacks at your own risk.

Do you live in a dangerous area? Get mugged often? Or are there just too many serial killers running around? Here's your guide on how to make your very own pepper spray:
Warning: Pepper spray is ONLY used for self-defense purposes. Do NOT go around spraying people, as fun as it is. Pepper spray causes temporary vision loss, burning eyes, and blind stumbling around
like an idiot.

1. Put 2 table spoons of crushed red peppers into a 150mL cup of water. You can crush the peppers yourself using the back of a  spoon or knife.
2. Add 3 table spoons of black pepper powder.
3. Stir with spoon until powder has dissolved for best results.
4. Add 10 drops of baby oil.
5. Boil the water.
6. Pour this into a bottle and shake well. (This step is optional)
7. Use a filter and filter out the undissolved pepper powder. (This is so it won't clog the spray bottle when you're spraying. Wouldn't want that to happen when it's an emergency.)
8. Pour this into a spray bottle. (Lotions and liquid soap usually come in spray bottles that you can use. Do NOT use pressurized cans.)

Tips: Store pepper spray in fridge when not in use. If you happen to get pepper spray in your eyes
(you're an idiot), washing it with milk will help.
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any injuries/death. Pepper spray may be illegal to carry in some places.

Failing class? Well, we have no advice for that. But here's a few ways to annoy your professor:

1. Draw abstract paintings called "Professor know-it-all" and hand them in with your assignments.
2. Sit at the back of the class. When the professor is talking, ask him/her to speak up because you
can't hear. Say you can't move to the front of the class because you're scouting the room for assassins.
3. Keep asking your professor to prove everything they say. Insist that you won't believe these "lies" until you see evidence.
4. Wear the funniest looking hats you can find to class everyday.
5. When handing in your assignments, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle. When your professor asks, say "Thank god you found it! I thought someone stole my top secret recipe again!"
6. Mail your professor a phonebook for Christmas.
7. Secretly take pictures of your professor outside of class (e.g at the coffee shop, grocery store) and mail them to him/her labelled as The Best Professor in the World.
8. Come to class dressed in a black ninja garb. Don't say why.
9. Come to class dressed in a white ninja garb the next day. Explain that "they" kicked you out of the clan and you had to switch forces.
10. Sit at the front of the class and stare at your professor through binoculars. Explain that you need to see better to learn better.
11. Hand in assignments written in ink on parchment paper. Explain that the power went out last night and you had to do it the "old fashioned way."
12. Come to class in a Halloween mask on Fridays. When your professor asks, simply explain "Today's Friday."
13. Bring candles and incense to class. Perform a ceremony before handing in your assignment, blessing the paper to correct all your typos.
14. Hand in your assignment in an enveloped with postmarks from several countries. Say you wanted several perspectives and resources. Say your aunt Barbara said you deserved an A.
15. Perfume the assignment with catnip. Explain that it was to keep the rats away.
16. Refuse to do the assignment because you object to the slaughter of trees.
17. Take a picture of your professor during class. Email it to him/her and say "A picture is worth a thousand words..."
18. Hand in a crudely drawn picture attached to the end of your assignments with the caption: "The topic was so emotional that mere words cannot express all that I had to say. Therefore I had to include this picture."
19. Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand to ask a stupid question
or make a statement. When the professor tells you you're wrong, yell at the cactus "I can't believe you embarrassed me again!"
20. Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through, stand up and start using it. Yell out "I can't stand
sitting in this pigsty any longer!"
21. Come to class very early one day and eat your breakfast there. When your professor enters, ask "Want some pancakes?"
22. Make a very ugly sculpture of your professor and mail it to him/her with the note "From: Your favorite student"
23. Wear a tuxedo (if you're male) or evening dress (if you're female) to class one day. Arrive fashionably late and explain you were just at a wedding. Apologize for being late. Explain that it was the groom's fault.
24. Come to class in a chicken suit. Explain that it's for your job, but you had trouble getting out of it last night.
25. Come to class dressed as an angel. Say that it's for your drama class.
26. Before Winter break or Spring break, wish your professor a good vacation. Tell him/her that you'll be having the time of your life at Fat camp.
27. Dye your hair a different color everyday.
28. Wear a shirt that says "Call me Bob." Wear a shirt the next day that says "Call me Sam." Wear a shirt the third day that says "Just call me."
29. Bring a framed picture of a $20 bill and place it on your desk. Make sure your professor sees it. Explain that it inspires you.
30. Arrive late to class and say "Actually, I'm here for tomorrow's lesson, so in fact, I'm early."
31. Bring 5 water bottles to class and drink all of it. Ask your professor to let you go to the bathroom. If he/she says no, get up and run out of the class yelling "Watch out! Full bladder coming through!"

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for you getting detention, suspension or expulsion. Or failing.

Hate your job? Want to get a new one, but don't want to go through the trouble of quitting? Why not do it the fun way?

1. Develop a fear of staplers.
2. Email your boss spam letters such as "Become Fabulous! Here it is: what we've been waiting for years! Fabulous 3000! It will definitely make you FA.....wait for it.....BULOUS! So BUY IT!
CONSUME IT! BE IT! Visit stupidstuff.lol.net to become what you've always dreamed of!"
3. Find out where your boss shops. Buy the same outfits and wear them one day after your boss does. If you don't want to waste money, you may be able to refund them after.
4. Name your pens and insist that you can't work until they are all present.
5. Place 2 garbage cans in your office. Label them "IN" and "OUT"
6. Email your coworkers messages informing them about everything you are doing such as "I am now organizing my pens in alphabetical order" or "I am now putting the papers in the photocopier."
7. Email your coworkers a message saying "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom having diarrhea."
8. Paste pictures of your boss all over the cubicle. Even put framed pictures of him/her on your
desk.
9. Put a GIGANTIC picture of William Shakespeare on your desk. Say it inspires you.
10. As you're working, count to 100. If anyone asks, tell them you are counting your brain cells.
11. Follow your boss around spraying everything they touch with disinfectant. Say "just in case...."
12. Always walk very slowly and block the path. When coworkers complain, say "better safe than sorry."

Just for random fun. Not recommended. But just in case you ever get bored.

1. Follow someone around for a few minutes and then speak into your watch saying "Agent 203, subject 493 is unresponsive. Code 34."
2. Run up the "down" escalators. When you reach the top, take the escalors down.
3. Walk up to a stranger is a grocery store and hand them a spatula. Say "The future of the earth depends on you."
4. Walk around a grocery store calmly. Suddenly, grab an apple, take a bite, and put it back.
Turn to the nearest person and say "You saw nothing."
5. Follow someone around and spray everything they touch with disinfectant.
6. Tell a stranger a very lame joke. Then start laughing at your own joke like a hyena.
7. Take out your cellphone and look at your text messages. Suddenly scream "Oh my god! I've been found! I'll have to pack my bags! I'll have to leave the country! I'll have to trim these nose hairs!"
8. Count to 100. When someone asks, say "I'm counting my brain cells."
9. Don't use deodorant. "Accidentally" stick your armpit in someone's face.
10. Go to a public washroom. Look in the mirror and scream "Oh my god! I'm hideous!"
11. Eavesdrop on other people's conversations and say "LOL, please!"
12. Go to a pet store. Ask to see all the rabbits. Pretend to have trouble picking which one to buy. Ask the employees which one tastes the best. If they ask, explain it's for your pet python.
13. Go to McDonalds. Order a bacon-cheeseburger placed between 2 Big Macs with extra Mocha sauce.
14. Go into a restaurant and order their most expensive meal stuffed inside their second most expensive meal.
15. Dress up as a private investigator with the trench coat, sunglasses, and magnifying glass. Show random people your ID and ask "Have you seen this person?"
16. Go to McDonalds. Order fries without the potatoes.
17. Go on the public transit. Find an empty seat next to someone and ask "May I sit down?" When they say yes, sit on their lap.
18. Walk around Walmart. Bump into someone and say "Oh my god. It's YOU again."
19. Run up to an old man. Throw your arms up and say "Oh my god! Grandpa?! I thought you
were dead! I can't believe you're alive! How about a hug for your favorite grandson/daughter?"
20. Get into a taxi. When they ask where you want to go, say "Iceland."
21. Go to a grocery store. Pick up bacon and scream "What have they done to you, Porky?!"
22. Walk into Starbucks. Ask for directions to Tim Hortons.
23. Hug a random person. If people start staring, say "We're having a moment....Leave."
24. Go up to random people and say you're from a marketing research company. Ask them "If you had a magical snail that could grant you any wish. What would you wish for?" Record the answers.
(Leave the answers in the comments below)
25. Dress up as a salesman. Go up to random people and try selling Cheerios as mini donut-seeds.
26. Ride a bike past a cop while drinking juice and yell "You can't catch me!"
27. Walk up to a random person and say "You look like my last ex. So...you single?"
28. Go to a clothing store. Go into the change-rooms and stay in there for a long time. When the employee knocks on the door, scream "Hold on a second. I'm naked!"
29. Go to the library. Ask the librarian for a book on "How to Get Away With Murder."
30. Go to walmart. Buy 30 sacks of potatoes and tell the cashier you're preparing for the next Apocalypse. Return the potatoes the next day and say "I missed the apocalypse."
31. Go to Subway sandwiches. Order a subway with everything, but no bread.
32. Go to a restaurant you hate. Order "two omelettes, one extra runny and the other extra burnt." Order burnt toast with butter so hard you can't spread it, a bowl of salad with 1/4 teaspoon of sauce, half raw bacon, and coffee so weak it tastes like boiled water with coffee flavoring. When the waitor tells you he can't give you that, say "Why not? That's what you served me yesterday
33. Walk into a coffeeshop. Order a coffee then say "Aren't you going to ask me 'Do you want
fries with that?'"
34. Walk up to someone and say "Oh my god, it's you! We haven't talked in ages! How's it going?" See how they react.
35. Wear a white lab coat and carry a clipboard around with you. Ask people questions like
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like eating?"
36. Walk around and yell at people "Button! Who has my button?!!"
37. Scream "The voices are back!" and clutch your head. Then, suddenly turn back normal and deny that ever happened if people ask.
38. Ask random people "Do you want to join the Dark Side?"

Can't handle the burn? The next time you find yourself stuck in a SPICY FOOD EATING competition, follow these tips and you're guaranteed to win (unless they're professionals). Or maybe you're just really bored and want to train yourself to eat spice. Spicy food is very healthy if eaten in moderation. Anyways, back to the list:

1. Eat a bunch of bananas or ice cream beforehand.
2. Eat it slowly. That way, the heat won't build up and you'll be able to tolerate it. (This tip does not apply if there's a time limit.Although eating faster works for some people. 
3. Drink something ice cold. Cold yogurt, milk, smoothies, or ice-cream works best. Let the liquid stay in your mouth for a while before swallowing. Stay away from soda and water.
4. Eat dry crackers, bagels, or bread along with the food.
5. Suck on a lemon slice or some sugar.
6. If you have spice on your hands, don't touch your eyes.
7. Practice. 

Warning: Start at the bottom of the "spiciness" scale and work your way up.
Disclaimer: We are not
responsible for any injuries and/or death.