It's time to prepare for the impossible: when a bunch of scrawny monsters with oversized heads in flying saucers attack:

 1. Don't be the guy (or woman) who's running down the street screaming their head off. It makes you an obvious target.
2. Actually, the first thing you should do is make sure if they're actually attacking, and not just friendly visiting.
2. Pack your suvival kit NOW. Aliens won't warn you when they attack. Survival kits should include
first aid kit, clothes, flashlights, batteries, can openers, blankets, maps, food, water, compass, containers, knives, maps....it's pretty similar to your camping trip luggage.
3. Plan the shortest route out of your city now.
4. Head towards the countryside. Aliens will attack large cities first, because there's more people.
5. Pack a bag of weapons. I have no idea what kind of weapons can harm aliens, so just pack everything: guns, ammo,matches, knives, bows and arrows, water, hatchets, wood, acid, laser beams, metals, salt etc.
6. Avoid getting resources from obvious places such as grocery stores. Everyone will be there looking for supplies during the alien invasion, which will attract attention. Try camping stores etc.
7. Always try to pack "unperishable" foods like cans.
8. Dress in dull colors to avoid attracting attention.
9. Once you're in your "safe spot," don't leave unless it's to look for supplies. If you do have to go
out for supplies, always choose a different path/direction so no one can keep track of your routines.
10. Once you survive the initial attack, everything will be fine (not really). You have 2 choices. You can live your life in hiding and hope others will be able to defeat the aliens while you relax in your safe spot, or you can band together with other survivors in order to take back your planet:

11. If you choose to live in hiding, make sure you have access to TV/radio so you can keep track of the invasion. (You don't want to live in hiding for 30 years and find out that the invasion ended 29 years ago...)
12. If you choose to be a hero, try to save the children, the scientists, and the engineers. They will be the ones who can defeat the aliens.
13. Study the aliens. Find out their strengths, weaknesses (if they have any), and routines. Gather a group of survivors to defeat the aliens. (Or you can try to pretend to be an alien and hope they don't notice.)
14. You must destroy the mothership first (preferably by blowing it up). Without their home and technology, they will be lost in a foreign planet and you will have the advantage. Now you can start
eliminating them one by one. [insert evil laugh here]
15. If you are trapped in their mothership, try to blend in. Or maybe join forces with the aliens(traitor!). They could use a helpful human, because you're more familiar with earth. Or try showing them YouTube videos to buy time.
16. If you are trapped in a room with aliens, start throwing any random objects at them. Who knows? Maybe they're allergic to fluffy pillows, or chocolate, or bleach. Or maybe they really enjoy cheese burgers and will agree to stop invading earth in exchange.
17. Make sure you kill ALL of the aliens. Remember to kill the scientists who want to "study it" as well.
18. Remember to take a picture. This would be an awesome story to tell one day (assuming the human race doesn't go extinct).

You've all seen this coming:

1. Look in the mirror and scream "Oh my god! It's hideous!!!" before running out.
2. Wash your hands obsessively in the sink and mutter "Gotta rid of the evidence...."
3. Stick your hand under the stall and ask "May I borrow a highlighter?"
4. Open a stall door. Scream "there's a leprechaun in the toilet!" and run out.
5. Sell toilet paper.
6. "Uh oh. I probably shouldn't have put my lips on that."
7. Ask "Now, how did that get in there?"
8. Ask people "Were there more sinkers than floaters?"
9. Pound on someone's stall door and scream "Are you almost done in there?!!"
10. Knock on someone's stall door and ask "Are you alright in there? What's happening?"
11. Knock on someone's stall door and ask "Do you have a lighter?"
12. Smear some chocolate on a piece of toilet paper. Then kick it to the next stall and say "Oops. Looks like I missed the toilet."
13. Open a stall door, take one look at the toilet and scream "Oh my GOD!!! What the hell IS
that?!!!" and run out of the bathroom.
14. Brush your teeth.
15. Shave.
16. Slip a note under someone's stall door that says "Hello. How are you doing?"
17. Sing while you're doing your business.
18. Tell everyone in the bathroom "Be careful when you sit. You could fall in."
19. When you're finished, slam open the stall door and rush to the sink. Obsessively scrub your
hands and scream "Oh my god! I can't believe I touched it!!!"
20. Knock on someone's door every 4 seconds and yell "Are you almost done yet?" Nothing is more annoying than being rushed while you're doing your business.
21. Knock on someone's door and ask if they'd mind doing a quick survey.
22. Smear some chocolate on your hands and then stick it under the stall door and say "Can I borrow some toilet paper?" Literally, borrow the paper and offer to give it back.
23. Grunt and strain for 30 seconds before dropping a heavy object into the toilet.
24. Pretend to call someone while taking a dump. Make sure everyone can hear your conversation
 "Hey Bob. What's up?... No, I'm not doing anything."
25. Leave creepy notes on the toilet paper for the next person, such as "I've got my eyes on you."
26. Tape a phone number to the back of the stall door that says "Call me. I'm desperate."
27. Tell everyone the bathroom is haunted. Make spooky noises and flicker the lights when they're doing their business.
28. Walk around and ask people if they've seen your lost cat.
29. Strike up a conversation with people in line. "So...I ate this bad mushroom, and I've had the sh*ts for days...."
30. Knock on the stall doors and yell "There's a fire in the building. We must evacuate immediately!"