Free Insults Given Here:
"Yo mama so fat they had to install speed bumps at the All-You-Can-Eat buffet."
A: "You've been telling everyone that I'm ugly!!!"
B: "Sorry, I didn't know you wanted to keep it a secret."
"Maybe your should eat some make-up so you can be pretty on the inside."
A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
B: "To get to the other side?"
A: "Nope. To get to the gay kid's house."
B: "....."
A: "...Knock knock."
B: "Who's there?"
A: "The chicken."
(It's always extremely sad when people are too dumb to figure this joke out.)
A: "You've been telling everyone that I'm ugly!!!"
B: "Sorry, I didn't know you wanted to keep it a secret."
"Maybe your should eat some make-up so you can be pretty on the inside."
A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
B: "To get to the other side?"
A: "Nope. To get to the gay kid's house."
B: "....."
A: "...Knock knock."
B: "Who's there?"
A: "The chicken."
(It's always extremely sad when people are too dumb to figure this joke out.)
"My door is always open...feel free to leave at any time."
"Don't worry. You're not stupid. You're brain just hasn't fully developed."
"Wow. I wish I was retarded like you."
"Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment."
"You're living proof humans can live without a brain."
"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant."
"Do you hear that?......That's the sound of no one caring."
"You don't like me? That's okay. Everyone's allowed to have sh*tty tastes."
"I'm not mean. I just describe people accurately."
"Men are like public toilets; they're either taken or full of sh*t."
"You want to hear an even funnier joke? You getting laid."
"Your teeth are so yellow, you slow down traffic."
"Nice tan. Orange is my favorite color."
"Hey, you have something on your chin...third one down."
"Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick."
"It looks like your face caught on fire and someone put it out....with a fork."
"I love you is 8 letters long, then again, so is bullsh*t."
"You were probably born on a highway; that's where most accidents happen."
"Some babies were dropped on their heads, you were clearly thrown at a wall."
"I'll never be able to see things from your point of view. I just can't get my head that far up my ass"
"The police are looking for someone described as funny, intelligent, and good looking. Your ugly ass is safe, but where should I hide?"
"I don't have an attitude. I just have a personality you can't handle."
"I don't know when that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people, but they sure aren't coming back for them."
"It's like your face is god's way of saying 'Sorry I left out the brain.'"
"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a bad mood for the last 10 years."
"Looks like I over-estimated your number of brain cells again."
"It's nothing personal. I just can't stand retards."
"Don't worry. You're not stupid. You're brain just hasn't fully developed."
"Wow. I wish I was retarded like you."
"Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment."
"You're living proof humans can live without a brain."
"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant."
"Do you hear that?......That's the sound of no one caring."
"You don't like me? That's okay. Everyone's allowed to have sh*tty tastes."
"I'm not mean. I just describe people accurately."
"Men are like public toilets; they're either taken or full of sh*t."
"You want to hear an even funnier joke? You getting laid."
"Your teeth are so yellow, you slow down traffic."
"Nice tan. Orange is my favorite color."
"Hey, you have something on your chin...third one down."
"Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick."
"It looks like your face caught on fire and someone put it out....with a fork."
"I love you is 8 letters long, then again, so is bullsh*t."
"You were probably born on a highway; that's where most accidents happen."
"Some babies were dropped on their heads, you were clearly thrown at a wall."
"I'll never be able to see things from your point of view. I just can't get my head that far up my ass"
"The police are looking for someone described as funny, intelligent, and good looking. Your ugly ass is safe, but where should I hide?"
"I don't have an attitude. I just have a personality you can't handle."
"I don't know when that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people, but they sure aren't coming back for them."
"It's like your face is god's way of saying 'Sorry I left out the brain.'"
"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a bad mood for the last 10 years."
"Looks like I over-estimated your number of brain cells again."
"It's nothing personal. I just can't stand retards."
"I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diapers?"
"Don't feel bad. Don't feel blue. Frankenstein was ugly too."
"Ordinary people live and learn. You just live."
"Don't you need a license to be that ugly?"
"You're as ugly as a salad."
"Earth is full. Go home."
You are butt ugly -----> (_|_)
"I bet your brain feels good as new, since you've never used it."
"You say I'm a b*tch like it's a bad thing."
Man: "Why do women always want to increase their appearance and not their intelligence?"
Woman: "Because there's a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind."
Woman: "Because there's a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind."
Man: "You have a flat chest, have you ever been mistaken for a man?"
Woman: "No, have you?"
Woman: "No, have you?"
Man: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it."
Woman: "You wear pants, don't you?"
Woman: "You wear pants, don't you?"
"You're so old, you knew burger king when he was still a prince."
"I hope you expire soon."
"I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and sh*t a better statement than that."
"You're so fat, when my dog bit you, he died of high cholesterol."
"You're so fat, when you fell off the boat, the captain yelled 'Land ahoy!'"
"You're so fat, when I tried to drive around you, I ran out of gas."
"You're so fat you went to the movies and sat next to everyone."
"You're so stupid, you studied for a blood test."
"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public again."
"You're so stupid you're going to look up the word 'stupid' in the dictionary after this insult."
"You're so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake."
"You're so disgusting you got banned from the sewage plant for sanitation concerns."
"You're so fat when you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they had to install speed bumps."
"Do you still love nature? Despite what it did to you?"
"You're so ugly you can turn milk into yogurt just by looking at it."
"You're so ugly, people put your picture on their car window as an anti-theft device."
"You're so ugly that when you went to the circus, they refused to let you leave."
"You're so ugly you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies."
"You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor took one look at you and slapped your mother."
"You're so ugly that when your mom gave birth to you, she almost named you 'Sh*t happens.'"
"If ugliness were bricks, you'd be the Great Wall of China."
"You're so ugly that when your mom gave birth to you, she was charged for littering."
"You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother said 'What's that?' and the doctor replied 'I don't know. But if it moves again, I'm going to kill it!'"
"For a minute there, you bored me to death."
"You know you can't fix stupid, right?"
"I'm already visualizing you with duct tape over your mouth."
"Despite the look on my face, you're still talking."
"It's ok if you disagree with me. I can't force you to be right."
"Calling you an idiot...would be a pretty accurate description!"
"Save your breath. No one wants to smell it."
"You're so old that when I told you to act your own age, you died."
"You're so ugly that when you looked out the window, you got arrested for indecent exposure."
"You're so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most.'"
"You're so ugly, when I took you to the zoo, the guy at the door said 'Thanks for bringing him back.'"
"You're so fat, when you step on a scale, it reads 'To be continued...'"
"You're so stupid, you sit on the couch and watch the TV."
"You're so fat, you have to wear a 6 piece bathing suit"
"You're so dumb, you think a lawsuit is something you wear to court."
"You're so dumb, you got fired at the M&M factory for throwing out all the W's"
"You're so fat, when you step on a scale, it reads 'one at a time, please.'"
"You're so fat, I have to take 10 steps back just to see all of you."
"You're so ugly your pillow cries at night."
"You're so skinny, you have to run around the shower to get wet."
"Yo mamma so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas...and it's still printing."
"You're so smelly your can make onions cry."
"That joke is so old, the last time I heard it I was riding on a dinosaur."
A: "You're so dumb, you think Taco Bell is a mexican phone company."
B: "Well, isn't it?"
B: "Well, isn't it?"
"God must love stupid people. He has so many."
"I don't think you're a complete idiot. Some parts are still missing."
A: "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."
B: "Really? I'd put F and U together."
B: "Really? I'd put F and U together."
"Sometimes I think you're losing it. But then I remember you've got nothing to lose."
"You can have as many friends as money can buy, but I'll always hate you for free."
"Someday you'll find yourself, and you'll be just as disappointed as the rest of us."
"You are a beautiful person on the inside. Too bad we have to look at the outside."
"Now I know why some mammals eat their children."
"You can be good looking...at a distance....at night....during a new moon."
"I heard that you were a ladykiller. They took one look at you and died of shock."
"I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job."
"Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people."
"Hi there! I'm a human being. What are you?"
"I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay an admission fee."
A: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
B: "If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
B: "If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man "What's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter."
Woman: "Do not enter."
A: "Your place or mine?"
B: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
B: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
A: "Is this seat empty?"
B: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
B: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
A: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
B: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
B: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
A: "Can I have your phone number?"
B: "That's in the phonebook."
A: "But I don't know your name."
B: "That's also in the phone book."
B: "That's in the phonebook."
A: "But I don't know your name."
B: "That's also in the phone book."
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "So, what are you doing here tonight?"
Woman: "Same reason as you. Picking up chicks!"
Woman: "Same reason as you. Picking up chicks!"
A: "What are you looking at?"
B: "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."
B: "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."
A: "Want to go back to my place?"
B: "I don't know. Will 2 people fit under a rock?"
B: "I don't know. Will 2 people fit under a rock?"
"I like your approach, now let's see your departure."
Man: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "Female impersonator"
Woman: "Female impersonator"
Man: "Want to dance?"
Woman: "No thank you."
Man: "Dont thank me, thank God somebody asked you."
Woman: "No thank you."
Man: "Dont thank me, thank God somebody asked you."