So arriving on time didn't work out...There's a number of things you can say, like "sorry." Or if you like being an ass, you can use these excuses below:
1. "Actually, I'm here for tomorrow's lesson/appointment, so in fact, I'm early."
2. "I was eating breakfast when World War 3 broke out in my kitchen."
3. "Sorry, there was a Snorlax sleeping in the street and I had to go back and get my magic
flute."
4. "I killed my ex husband/wife and had to dismember the corpse and burn the evidence."
5. "My fish died and I had to take him to the vet to get cremated."
6. "I was up all night arguing with God."
7. "I've used up all my sick days for work, so I'm calling in dead."
8. "I was waiting for my deodorant to dry."
9. "Grandma didn't call to wake me up today..."
10. "My electricity was shut off so I had to stay and keep my snake warm."
11. "I had to feed my pet piranha or else he'll 'act up' again."
12. "This is not an excuse. It is a legitimate reason."
13. "My dog ate the car keys."
14. "I had to shoot my wife/husband and clean up the mess before the police came."
15. "Sorry, I thought I was dead when I couldn't move to get out of bed this morning."
16. "My dad/mom choked on a meatball and I had to dislodge it."
17. "When I was dislodging the meatball my dad/mom was choking on, I accidentally broke one of
his/her ribs. I had to take him/her to the hospital."
18. "Sorry, I had to booby-trap my house or else my neighbor will sneak in and use my bathroom again."
19. "Sorry, I told the muggers to be quick, but they wouldn't listen."
20. "Sorry, my psychiatrist wouldn't let me leave."
21. "I got stuck in the bathtub."
22. "Joe thought it would be funny to throw my cat out a 4 story window.... I had to plan his funeral."
23. "I thought I won the lottery, but it was a mistake."
24. "I had to bail my mother out of jail again."
25. "Sorry, I had to ship my grandmother's bones back to Greece."
26. "I witnessed an accident."
27. "My dog left a giant sh*t stain on the carpet, so I had to bring it to the dry cleaners."
28. "I had to rearrange my garden gnomes."
29. "I've been working out lately, and decided to find out if I could...you know...but I found out I can't. So now I'm in the hospital."
30. "I was having...bowel movements."
31. "My boyfriend/girlfriend's cat thought it would be funny to unplug my alarm clock."
32. "My orangutan died. You know how much those things cost?! The funeral, not the
orangutan."
33. "My friend bet I couldn't fit into his storage closet..."
34. "I fell asleep on the bus last night and ended up in Mexico."
35. "There was a misunderstanding and now I'm stuck in jail."
36. "My neighbor's bulldog murdered my cat."
37. "Sorry, I'm having women problems."
38. "I accidentally flattened a rabbit when backing out of my driveway. I'm still trying to get the blood out."
39. "My cat decided to commmit suicide."
40. "My neighbor tried to kill me."
41. "I died."
Warning: You may get fired if you used these excuses on your boss, detention if used on your teacher, and dumped if used on your boy/girl friend.
1. "Actually, I'm here for tomorrow's lesson/appointment, so in fact, I'm early."
2. "I was eating breakfast when World War 3 broke out in my kitchen."
3. "Sorry, there was a Snorlax sleeping in the street and I had to go back and get my magic
flute."
4. "I killed my ex husband/wife and had to dismember the corpse and burn the evidence."
5. "My fish died and I had to take him to the vet to get cremated."
6. "I was up all night arguing with God."
7. "I've used up all my sick days for work, so I'm calling in dead."
8. "I was waiting for my deodorant to dry."
9. "Grandma didn't call to wake me up today..."
10. "My electricity was shut off so I had to stay and keep my snake warm."
11. "I had to feed my pet piranha or else he'll 'act up' again."
12. "This is not an excuse. It is a legitimate reason."
13. "My dog ate the car keys."
14. "I had to shoot my wife/husband and clean up the mess before the police came."
15. "Sorry, I thought I was dead when I couldn't move to get out of bed this morning."
16. "My dad/mom choked on a meatball and I had to dislodge it."
17. "When I was dislodging the meatball my dad/mom was choking on, I accidentally broke one of
his/her ribs. I had to take him/her to the hospital."
18. "Sorry, I had to booby-trap my house or else my neighbor will sneak in and use my bathroom again."
19. "Sorry, I told the muggers to be quick, but they wouldn't listen."
20. "Sorry, my psychiatrist wouldn't let me leave."
21. "I got stuck in the bathtub."
22. "Joe thought it would be funny to throw my cat out a 4 story window.... I had to plan his funeral."
23. "I thought I won the lottery, but it was a mistake."
24. "I had to bail my mother out of jail again."
25. "Sorry, I had to ship my grandmother's bones back to Greece."
26. "I witnessed an accident."
27. "My dog left a giant sh*t stain on the carpet, so I had to bring it to the dry cleaners."
28. "I had to rearrange my garden gnomes."
29. "I've been working out lately, and decided to find out if I could...you know...but I found out I can't. So now I'm in the hospital."
30. "I was having...bowel movements."
31. "My boyfriend/girlfriend's cat thought it would be funny to unplug my alarm clock."
32. "My orangutan died. You know how much those things cost?! The funeral, not the
orangutan."
33. "My friend bet I couldn't fit into his storage closet..."
34. "I fell asleep on the bus last night and ended up in Mexico."
35. "There was a misunderstanding and now I'm stuck in jail."
36. "My neighbor's bulldog murdered my cat."
37. "Sorry, I'm having women problems."
38. "I accidentally flattened a rabbit when backing out of my driveway. I'm still trying to get the blood out."
39. "My cat decided to commmit suicide."
40. "My neighbor tried to kill me."
41. "I died."
Warning: You may get fired if you used these excuses on your boss, detention if used on your teacher, and dumped if used on your boy/girl friend.
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